The undeniable sign of true manliness, a bristly upper lip companion. Over the decades there have been many different takes on the moustache. We have decided to pull together the 12 most iconic moustaches of all time, which one would you go for?
Wagner Moura – “The Dealer”
Less handlebar; more Escobar: this ‘tache has be essentially ‘carved’ out from a beard; it’s all clippered down to one length, and maintained by wet shaving the rest of the face, using the trimmers to make sure the edges are nice and neat
Hulk Hogan – horseshoe
Also carved out from a beard, but a b(h)ulkier one than above, Mr. Hogan wet shaves around the moustache and probably trims the sides with scissors, and along the lip as well.
Ron Burgundy – “The Big Deal”
It will take a few months to grow this toothbrush ‘tache – by which point you’ll be using clippers under the nose and just above the lip and scissors to trim any stray hairs. No products needed, except a good quality wet shave kit.
Frank Zappa – The Hippie Goatee
Once again, this is a shapely moustache goatee combo that has been carved from a beard.
Daniel Day Lewis – The Handlebar
Now here’s a proper handlebar that would make a bicycle proud: There Will Be Twizzles. This kind of moustache takes a while to grow and to perfect – around 6-8 months depending on your growth and desired end curliness. As it’s growing, you need to train it outwards from the filtrum, and don’t trim any of the length – this needs to group together and be twizzled into the curl with a moustache wax.
Clark Gable – The Pencil
The most achievable moustache on the list, Gable’s little pencil number is more HB than Zappa’s thick charcoal. Use a straight edge razor for fine and precise lines above and below the moustache and wet shave as you normally would.
Combine the pencil with one of our three new haircuts for this summer and it will be capped off perfectly, or you might potentially look like a paedofile.
Tom Selleck – “the Magnum”
Somewhere in between the toothbrush and the handlebar, there is no trimming beneath the nose here – and it will take between 4-6 weeks to get to this length all over. Best would be to trim the lip line with scissors to keep it looking swish, and apply the residue of a hair product (a paste perhaps) to give it a glossy finish.
Sam Elliot – “The Stranger”
Like a large mouse, this moustache may terrify some: it’s barely treated, left to grow wildly over the bottom lip, without any products or trimming. For extra body, brush downwards.
Freddie Mercury – “The Killer Queen”
Again, clippered to one length all over, this is one of the easier moustaches on the list to achieve. Wet shave around the ‘tache, using the clippers for straight lines.
The Fu Manchu
‘Fucking stupid – no-one’s going to have that’ – Words of wisdom from one of our barbers
We aren’t sure who would Fu ManChoose this moustache – it must have been growing forever. The eponymous ‘tache requires a rare sort of upper lip growth, pretty much unachievable for most.
Lemmy – The Ace of Spades
Lawnmower to the face? Now you know why they’re called ‘Motorhead’. Lemmy’s shaved his chin to reveal a strongly emphasised moustache – this should take about 4-6 weeks to grow properly and could probably do with a beard oil every morning to keep it well nourished.
Charlie Chaplin – Little Tramp (Yes we are trying to avoid THAT moustache)
Make sure you’re as funny as Mr. Chaplin if you go for this moustache: it’s thick growth looks remarkably like someone else’s. Wet shave on the face using clippers for extra squared off lines on the sides.